Cyber-Bullying and Small Town Gossip

Today I want to talk to you about something that is a horrible problem for me… I’ve been the victim of it in the past, and I’ll admit that at times, I’ve been guilty of it. Small town gossip was always bad, but get the internet involved, and it seems to be a thousand times worse. Why? Because people comment, share, screenshot, share some more, and tell the world… And there’s proof of who said what!

I try to stay above it, I really do. I have been the victim of gossip more times than I can count, probably. Most of the time, it’s things that I can laugh off and not have a second thought about. Other times, I have had some things said that caused irreparable harm. Someone contacted my ex-husband before and told him that I was partying all the time and on drugs and that he should take my kids from me. I wasn’t. When he didn’t act on their lies, they called DFCS and said something similar. I was investigated, and nothing came of it. I know who this person is, and to her I was fair game because I associated with people that she didn’t like. And trust me; she has done far worse to other people than she did to me, so I’m thankful for that.

Last night, I hopped on Facebook and saw that this person (who I am NOT friends with, by the way) had started in on someone else; her now ex-boyfriend. Now, everything in me says not to get involved, but human nature being what it is, I still decide to comment. Comments had already been flying back and forth, and so I then sat back and watched… Him being somewhat of a friend of mine, I gave him the opportunity to defend himself. Come to find out, she had hijacked his Facebook account… I didn’t know that until the wee hours of this morning. I tried to defend him, along with a few other people. I was ridiculed for it, even by my close friends. I was pretty much informed that she had the right to behave this way because he had hurt her. I was accused of bullying her.

I sat and thought. I went for a walk and thought some more. I bullied her? What about what she did to him? Was it different because he was a man? What about what she had done to me in the past? What about what she had done to so many people in the past? It didn’t matter… They were right, I did bully her. I felt a little bad for it. I know how it feels. People get brave behind a computer and say exactly what they think. I do it all the time… Of course, I said nothing to her that I wouldn’t say to her face; I’ve done that before. Then I thought some more.

I came to a conclusion: it’s not worth it. My time is valuable. It’s not worth dealing with her. She’s a miserable person who is at her happiest when she makes others miserable. I refuse to give her that kind of power in my life. But, I did do one last thing… I left a heartfelt comment full of advice that I hope one day she takes the time to think about: Yes, you can choose to post what you like. You can choose to destroy somebody’s life because you are unhappy with your own. But you can also choose to let it go and move on. It takes a lot less energy and you might find out that you’ll be a lot happier. I wish you the best, I hope that one day you’ll find happiness and stop trying to destroy the people around you. I know you’re an unhappy person, but you can choose to change that.

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